All my therapy training so far, my work with my amazing, courageous clients, and my own personal journey in therapy has led me to this realization:
Only after I discovered that I could handle the pain, grief, sadness, boredom, fear, or whatever seemingly excruciating feeling I’ve been avoiding ever since it overwhelmed me as a kid, was I able to start truly drinking up the joy, love, and radiance this one irreplaceable life has to offer.
It’s so easy to forget that we can handle it.Parts of us are terrified of feeling those painful feelings again.
For good reason—our little nervous systems were overwhelmed back then. And our parents weren’t always perfectly tuned into our emotional needs.
Even if they loved us with all their hearts, our parents got little to no support in this capitalist society. They were bound to be pulled in different directions and stressed out at times when we needed more from them.
So we people-please.
Or work beyond the hours we’re supposed to.
Or get angry at the drop of a dime.
Or grab another beer even if we don’t really want to.
Or worry about something so much we can’t sleep.
We do whatever it takes to outrun the pain. And the sad part is that also means we’re outrunning the good stuff. The joy. The aliveness. The peace. The love.
When our nervous system is trying to block out the potential for bad feelings, it keeps us from feeling the good ones. It keeps us from really living into and feeling this one life we have.
But we can change that. As a mentor once said to me, “Therapy isn’t about feeling better. It’s about feeling more.”
That’s why I love therapy so much, and why I became a therapist.
I have openings for online therapy (you have to live in Maryland or D.C.)! And I have openings in my men’s therapy group and my therapy group for therapists, coaches, yoga teachers, and other helping professionals. Fill out this form to set up a free 15-minute phone call to see if we’re a good fit to work together!